some people really don't know me

Somebody has just compared you with one of his friends and thinks you are more reliable.

1:42pm
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nuff' said. I find it funny how completely lost I am when work is canceled. What to do, what to do. Oh but of course, clics..perfect sense no? In truth, I am the nerd I was always reared to be. Sure, I drink and dabble in social shit, but my ultimate state of contentment is reading or writing or 'rithmetic type stuff. That, and ambition.

Man ambition makes me delirious when i truly immerse myself in it. It's like a coherent medium for adventure. Sure, it'd be great to spend your days exploring distant lands and what not, but a girls got to eat. And ambition, helps you function normally in society while quenching your thirst for spontaneity. I once described it as the only suitable alternative to love.

and I'm off! Happy Hour, then who knows? I think that's the best sort of plan you can have

me, via similarminds.com

messy, outgoing, open, self revealing, ambivalent about chaos, unpredictable, not good at saving money, social, likes large parties, likes to stand out, risk taker, quick to make friends, does not like to be alone, rash, fame seeking, sarcastic, craves attention, social chameleon, low self control, food lover, not rule conscious, weird, assertive, not a perfectionist, anti-authority, thrill seeker, vain, likes to fit in, reckless, emotionally sensitive, leisurely, trusting

Stability results were medium which suggests you are moderately relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.

Orderliness results were low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

it's true.

http://similarminds.com/global-adv.html

relaxi taxi

this weekend has been bomb freakin diggity. Aside from yet again making an utter fool of myself whilst trashed, last night was a blast. From thriftin @ hillcrest to jammin with our "band" then pongin' it up with anna/peter/rogelio etc good times are a-rolling. I'm reconnecting with my roomie, and finding time to kick it with my old suitemates too.

Today I got lunch with sonia then dropped her off at the airport. I love it when we chill because I always get the best book recommendations. Although I've tried to veer off Palahniuk, I couldn't help it and bummed rant. After comparing twisted lives and quirks over strawberry lemonade, we made plans. From open mic nights to book clubs to comedy shows...this summer will be good

Afterwards, I hit up coronado since I was pretty much there already. That place does wonders for relaxation. Granted, it is THE bourgeoisie haven in SD, there's something so calming the second you cross the bridge. I made a project out of it, results to be posted. It was nice though, for father's day, going back to where he first lived in the US. Oh the spiritual shit people do for kicks

I'm thinking of planning a biking trip next weekend. Just explore SD, stay at a hostel or a friend's place in OB/NorthPark, and just discover. My mom is completely against my having a bike (oh, mothers) so I may have to fund this project. Adventure inspired by Ricsie running into two strangers who wanted to bike all down the West Coast. Apparently they're from CT and decided to start in Canada and are pedaling there way through SD this weekend. Sick shit

Tomorrow we're gunna go backpacking/hiking around san diego. I hope we find some good trails.

heartsongs

so i gravitate to ultra mellow yellow tracks. What's new. My first alternative album was The Early November & The Ataris, and Dashboard was the soundtrack for my formidable teenage years. So what it's bleeding heart, typical tragic teen stuff. I've come to the point where it isn't my sole method for coping, but just stuff that makes me feel like home.


That said, I'm loving weezer's new red album. In honor of track 4- heartsongs, I've decided to one day make a post of all my heart songs. No time ahora, finals pwn life.

I wish I was musically inclined so I could've found three people who loved rhythm, and just done that the rest of my life. This whole jammin' out with my pathetic rendition of what guitar chords are is a stint I don't want to end. Maybe it's another fleeting dream; after 2 drum lessons I was over it, after my 2 yr piano run I had nightmares of those ivory keys for months on end. But hell, music makes more sense than anything (and yes, I am biting off that mock-hendrix character in across the universe, his words rang damn true)

I'm realizing slowly but surely

this is the life I was destined to live. By destiny of course I mean a carefully crafted schedule of classes, a brilliantly impeccable resume of lies, delusions of grandeur, and years of tortured soul tantrums with ex-lovers, leading unpredictably to overly poetic penmanship. Nonetheless, it's nice to realize my past can very fortunately effect my future, and that freedom from a fettered childhood is the most invigorating thing.

944's June issue came out today, and it was surreal seeing yours truly in the Masthead. Granted, it was 5pt font under the title-minor contributors, and one of the last in over 50 names, but hell, I wanna gloat k. Unfortunately, I have to miss the release party for I've recently surrendered my evenings to the man. Doing what you love apparently costs an arm, a leg, and $4.25 a gallon for gas.

well, sex.

after a mind-numbing 3 hours straight of SATC, analyzing and reinterpreting everything relationship, and talking essentially 24 hrs straight about psuedo love w. mengyun, i'm over it.

I'm over the investing, over the games, over it. exerting a lot of myself into things that oft end up in some sort of grotesque adaptation of a cute teen flick gone awry is not my idea of fun. It's predictable, unproductive, and all too exhausting. Since when did all this mushy love stuff embody the bane of my existence... when did the hopeless romantic choose the antics of an all too common realist.

so it's june. essentially, marking 6 months of my all too successful single-dom. Cue chariots of fire, five piece bandstand, and nauseating confetti. It's quite a triumph really. This is the girl still paying off her $200 bet in 2007, on the failed grounds of staying single for a month. If you come this far, it's not healthy to so much as think about anything man. You come to cherish the quiet things- having time to do laundry, running on natural circadian rhythm, falling into unforgiving love affairs with ben&jerry's, and it's peace like that.

I've come to realize the two necessary aspects of my core are ambition/career, and relationships. If one is a roller coaster, the other better be calm waters, or i'm thrown off. The last few months, both have uncharacteristically been out of order. Now that my summer seems orderly- gimme my social ruckus already



"Give me freedom. Freedom from a system that plasters me senseless to some male counterpart. That renders me defenseless as only a part of a whole. With words by Simone lulling me to sleep not that lethal bite of lust defining my night, I'm free. With Kant's reasoning engaging my mind instead of future strangers convoluting my time, I'm free. Outside the periphery of companionship there's dimensions unchartered. Terrain exposed, why choose the broken road? Because it's warmer? Your hand grasping closed the one you could love? Because it's safer, knowing you have a same leveled someone, if only for a second. Fuck it, give me the road that leads to greatness, dodge distractions of the physical, and let me run to that open field of success. Pave my path to the dazzling unknown and I will gladly walk it alone."