hello my name is

christina and on paper, i work. I have this wonderful internship that I can't figure out why I deserve, my future is bright at the brink of my early twenties, I have a guitar and books that I am addicted to, I run almost daily now so that my endorphin count is at an all time high, and I have a milieu of characters who come in and out of my life to pass the time. I'm writing almost constantly, which is great because it really is my passion. To convey to the world and try to translate the incomprehensible is a challenge I will always be up for. There's something I don't have though, and i'm not sure what it is.

I'm not sure I've ever had it. Even in my state of utmost contentment I think I've always been searching. It's weird because I'm completely aware of every part of me. I love art and expression but hate it's obscurity and it's disconnect from the rest of the world. I long to be connected at every moment to everyone, and life just isn't set up like that. I connect to words and songs like no other, more than other people sometimes. I read biographies to see how other people are doing things, and I finally conclude that everyone is always searching. Either that or have lost respectability.

I think a lot and wish that other people expressed how much they think. I'm sure everyone thinks a lot, but it's rare for people to be comfortable enough to express their confusion since by this point people feel they should be figured out. Because that's what life says. I constantly wonder why I am the way I am and attribute it to my childhood. A lot.

words immortalized by larsen- "Life's short, let's share it". perfect