After the fact..

My hard drive's chocked full of pictures

the same picture really, just with slightly different head tilts and eye shimmers
the same energy though
the kind of magic energy two people hoard from the rest of the world
that inspires them to do and be and see and feel
one-ness
one-ness so distracting you forget there's anything outside your bed
intoxicating one-ness that fools without fail
so overwhelming you happily drown yourself in it
until you realize you're just suffocating

the other day an old friend asked if I was finally in a healthy relationship
In my head I was thinking oxymoron. Out loud I replied yes

the other day you asked me if I still wanted to be with you
In my head I was thinking. Out loud I replied no